Children of Gay and Lesbian Parents Series: Resilience

In the evaluation of a child’s development, educators and mental health professionals have traditionally utilized standardized developmental preconceptions which arrive at reductionistic conclusions and impose dominant cultural assumptions (Smith & Nylund, 1997). This often leads both the service provider and his or her client(s) to construct an identity characterized by deficit. When service providers deflect human problems to the mental domain the social and political antecedents of problems remain unchallenged. For example, in discussing the Martin’s 1998 publication, Litovich and Langhout (2004) posit:

One of the arguments against children being raised by lesbian or gay parents is that the experience will cause undue social difficulties because of heterosexism resulting in homophobia, stigmatization, and discrimination. This argument seems ironic as sexual-minority parents are not to blame for society’s prejudice and yet, their parenting abilities are questioned on the grounds that their children will experience difficulties as a result of this prejudice (pp. 411-412).

Further, in their review of literature related to the developmental outcomes of children raised by lesbian parents, Litovich and Langhout (2004) found that the most significant differences between children of lesbian parents and children of heterosexual parents pointed to positive developmental outcomes for children with lesbian parents including an increased capacity for empathy, appreciation of difference, and awareness of inequality and prejudice.

A growing body of literature that challenges much of the deficit language prevalent within the child development literature is largely concerned with the construct of resilience. While very little of this literature specifically addresses the experiences of gay and lesbian parents and their children, the construct of resiliency does offer us another paradigm with which to understand the experiences of these families. This is particularly poignant in that although children raised in same-sex headed households must contend with the day to day reality of living in a heterosexist and homophobic context, their development has not been shown to be negatively affected according the empirical research (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 1999; Anderssen, Amlie, & Ytterøy, 2002; Litovich & Langhout, 2004; McCann & Delamonte, 2005; Meezan & Rauch, 2005; Patterson, 2006)

In their interviews with lesbian families, Litovich and Langhout (2004) traced several themes related to resiliencies present within these families. These included open discourse on sexual orientation from a young age and discussion and invitations to future dialogue about the possibility of heterosexist incidents that the children might experience. Examples of coping strategies which frame experiences of heterosexism as outside of the personal worth of the child and which teach the child compassion, even for those who are intolerant of them are understood within the resiliency paradigm. In this way, the family becomes a major source of support for the child, resiliently fostering the development of positive self esteem.